Canine Whimsy for New Year’s Eve!

A subdued one, no doubt and man’s best friend will likely be basking in the absence of explosions and mayhem.

OBEDIENCE CLASS

Puppies!
You won’t be pups for long so listen up.
You must learn to relate to humans,
A difficult lot; capricious,

Largely ignorant of our canine ways.
You will be required to muster
Every ounce of forbearance within you
Not to snap, bite back.

Sadly our wild ways have been lost
Over millennia and in 2020,
Mutt or purebred, we are all lap dogs,
Regardless of spirit or temperament.

We are domesticated.
Ugly word but our true nature
Ensures that you
Will always be untouchable

Even while indulging
Their desperate need for cuddles.
We are beyond their reach, torment.
Pups, you must find a balance

Between shy and biddable,
Charming and entertaining,
All before they grow
Weary of your antics;

Whining, chewing slippers,
Pooping or peeing inside.
One word; don’t!
Likely the most important lesson.

And hopefully your owner
Can figure out housetraining,
Isn’t too lazy
To take you outside when necessary.

Fortunately Doghood
Is nothing like the human condition.
Even on a leash, strolling in the mizzle,
We are beyond human foibles and misery.

Remember, you are a good boy!
Best of luck and be careful out there.
May your water dish always be full
And your future free of swats and prong collars.

 

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