Mangled my arm recently, which is why I finally have time to blog, albeit slowly, with one hand, the left. Suddenly I’m a southpaw and stranded since I can’t drive either. Survived a long winter of cold and flu viruses, snow days, then, bam! Only thought I was in the clear. Freak accident. I was sitting on the floor, leaning on a folding chair when it suddenly collapsed, crushing my forearm. Ouch! It’s the same radius I broke in a horrific car crash as a teenager. Surgery was required again, this time to remove the metal pin used to set it way back when and replace it with lighter, stainless steel hardware. I got an upgrade! I’ve been in a lot of pain and off work for a minimum of 6-8 weeks according to my orthopedic surgeon Dr. Frank. Being self-employed I am not eligible for EI or such benefits. I’m currently subsisting on meager savings which will run out soon. Dear friend Thesa is kindly setting up a GoFundMe campaign. There is hope. There is always hope.

And wings. Flight.  I am grateful to my fellow avian afficionados across the street that hang both songbird and hummingbird feeders. Once again I have a use for my binoculars. Such a lovely distraction.

I used to smoke. A lot. Though it took at least three major attempts I finally succeeded in breaking up with cigarettes. Nicotine has to be one of the most insidious addictions! Don’t quit quitting, I always say, eventually it will stick. I’m celebrating nearly 25 smoke-free years!

We are celebrating! As I related in my blog, on November 13 Kelly received long-awaited results of her DNA test proving we are half-sisters. I have three other sisters Cindy, Tricia and Janet, 13 nieces and nephews and numerous clan members. Many thanks to cousin Amy Newman, whose genealogical expertise put me in touch with first cousin Valerie and then everyone else. Sadly my father Bob Ferguson died mere weeks before my son and I were scheduled to fly out to Toronto to meet him. Still, I am grateful to have finally solved the mystery and found our kin who are unerringly kind and warm and fun to be with. I began to think it might never happen.  We are happily getting to know each other and establishing relationships.

Our island boy is now a smart, handsome talented young man, an urban dweller and turning 24 today. Being a millennial, he’s also a digital native, Internet and media savvy, so much so he’s earning a living via his YouTube channel RAYCEVICK.

Being Asperger’s, Junior is a loner, content in his lair/studio producing videos for 300,00 plus subscribers. He is very exacting and does it all; writing, editing,voice-overs. There was a time when we were certain he would become a golf pro-people swooned over his natural swing- but he lost interest, or perhaps hope at puberty, which has a way of colliding with one’s dreams, of putting reality into harsh relief. But, surrounded by poets, musicians and artists from a tender age, Lucas learned to create content by osmosis, teaching himself to edit video and launching his first YouTube channel at age ten. Happy Birthday my son, you truly are a blessing.

ISLAND BOY

Is it cold enough for hot chocolate?
Yes. We’re baking cookies. Come and help.

The kid that insists on blueberry candy canes
would rather drive through virtual streets of San Francisco

or James Bond jet-pack over snow drifts
than join us in the kitchen.

Takes no heed of time until the sun
sets on his screen. He has heat. Love. Pockets

of pizza. All the bare necessities. He is beyond
baking, toy aprons or pretending

to wash the dishes, toddler hands lost
inside flock-lined rubber gloves.

Helmeted in his racing seat
before the steering wheel our boy laughs

at vintage Looney Tunes, unaware
their blackface is racist, Porky Pig’s stuttering

politically incorrect. Where will he find ferocity
knowing nothing but Disney warfare?

Molokai, lost in time island where he refused
snorkeling, even to wet his head. He will jump

on a trampoline, will not punch a bag.
Kick the can. Form a fist.

He will sink a 32-foot putt
but can he take a hit? No worries.

He’s happy biding island time, its moat
foiling the bears, bores, kindergarten foes.

With absolutely no time or the wherewithal to write I’m going back in time today, to 2012 when I was awarded a Pandora’s Collective Literary Award presented by the inimitable Sean Cranbury, a precious memory indeed.

“As the recipient of the same award in 2011, I presented the 2012 Pandora’s Collective Literary Organizer/Promoter Award Presenting Speech to Heather Haley.
Heather Haley is old school in the very finest sense. She embraces a vigorous DIY spirit in all the work that she does. Whether that’s recording music and touring the coast in seminal Vancouver punk bands like the .45’s and Heather Haley and the Zellots, through publishing her poetry with independent presses like Anvil Press and Ekstasis Editions, creating indie music videos, or organizing literary and cinematic events that even after twenty years still seem to be ahead of their/our time.

Heather embraces multimedia and technology as valuable vehicles for ideas, energy, poetry and beauty. And it’s not a selfish pursuit, it’s the work and vision of someone who cares deeply about her community and wants to experience and support the creative work of others.

Heather doesn’t wait for permission to create the space necessary for artists and writers to work but simply does it because – I believe – that her instincts compel her to act. Because it would be impossible for her not to act, not to bring her vision into reality.
She is an innovative cultural programmer with a strongly held conviction that artists, especially poets, should be represented on the World Wide Web. Heather founded The Edgewise Café in 1994, one of Canada’s first electronic literary magazines, along with the non-profit arts organization, the Edgewise ElectroLit Centre. The EEC facilitated the Vancouver Videopoem Festival and Telepoetics, a videoconferenced reading series founded by Merilene Murphy. The Edgewise ElectroLit Centre’s populist mandate and innovative programs effectively made poetry accessible to all and assisted Canadian artists in expanding both their audience and potential. Since 2004, Haley has been the host and curator of the Visible Verse Festival, North America’s sustaining venue for the presentation of new and artistically significant poetry film and video.

As a literary event programmer myself I look at Heather’s track record with no small amount of wonder. Her work confirms for me something that I think about all the time – that if we want to build great things like literary culture or communities, then we need to get off our asses and respond to the creative instincts that tell us: “DO THE WORK. JUST FRICKING DO IT.”

The DIY spirit that I admire in Heather is based on ACTION, on DOING THE WORK.
(We are among that spirit here tonight.) Creating a better world to live in by helping artists and writers to share their work locally and around the world.

It is my honour to present the 2012 Pandora’s Collective Literary Organizer/Promoter Award to Heather Haley.”

Can’t seem to wrap my mind around writing anymore. At all. Can’t seem to get any music off the ground either. I always reassure friends with “fallow doesn’t mean finished.” Should take my own advice, but my lack of focus is dismaying. Too much work! Drudgery. Too many financial woes. Worries.

I don’t feel like myself sans a creative outlet. Still, I’ve had a lively 2018 thus far. I get bogged down, can’t see beyond the banalities of every day life sometimes. I flew out to Toronto with my son to meet our long lost kin, the Fergusons, enjoyed a fabulous birthday celebration and read at the Dead Poets Reading Series, sang with SLOW and just returned from a wonderful northern BC jaunt in Smithers, BC. I will count my blessings, soldier on. Rock on.

The Benefits. Wow. In addition to editing and publishing Peter Haskell and I produced myriad events in order to finance Rattler. We were fortunate to have the support of many esteemed Los Angeles poets, artists, performers and musicians: Choir Invisible, The Shrews, Lawndale, John Doe, Excene Cervenka, Minutemen, Dred Scott, Seditionaries, Henry Rollins, Cheri Gaulke, Marisela Norte, Doug Knott, Taquila Mockingbird, Perry Farrell, Jane Cantillon, Thea Other, Terry Dorn, Greg Burk, The Fiends, Vagina Dentata, Thelonius Monster, The Debbies, Sacred Antenna, Kathe Burkhart, De De Troit, Dave Alvin, Robin Carr, Chuck Dukowski, Louis Lista, Victor Noel, Christine Papalexis, Candye Kane, Carlos Guitarlos, OFF, Barry McBride, Aromatic Prawn Experience, Craig Lee, Louis Lista, Jane’s Addiction, Malocchio,  and naturally I pulled in my band, Heather Haley & the Zellots. That’s a lot of hats! And the possibilities, endless.

I lived and worked in Los Angeles for many years and along with Peter Haskell published Rattler. Four issues of the zine, from 1982-87 feature many prominent LA artists and writers including Henry Rollins, John Doe, Excene Cervenka, Lydia Lunch, Dave Alvin, Mark Mothersbaugh, Linda Giurbino, Michael Hyatt, Georganne Deen, Jeff Isaak, Doug Knott, Ed Colver, S.A. Griffin, Deborah F. Lawrence, Marisela Norte, Rocky Schenck, Michael Mollett, Victor Noel, Kathe Burkhard, Jonathan Rosen, Elena RyyannaKathi Norklun, Ewa Wojciak, Margaret Von Biesen, Lori Black, Greg Burk, Suzanne Gardner, Kari Lee Krome. I hope to find a home for Rattler, boxes currently stored in an attic on Bowen Island. I hope. Venturing over on Wednesday to retrieve them. (I think that’s where I put them? Gawd I hate moving.)

Later I founded the Edgewise ElectroLit Centre and we published The Edgewise Cafe, one of Canada’s first electronic literary magazines. This was the early 90s when a lack of bandwidth created a major challenge. Its archive is housed in Simon Fraser University Library’s Special Collection, along with the Edgewise videos and files. We also produced the Telepoetics reading series employing videophones and the Vancouver Videopoem Festival. Check out this list of events that included many outstanding Canadian poets:
• October 4, 1994: First Telepoetics link with Los Angeles: Alexandra Oliver, Jamie Reid, Neil Eustache, Sheri-D Wilson
• April 9, 1995: Verse volley with Chicago’s U-Lab.
• June 4, 1995: Telepoetics Salon with Camden, New Jersey, Los Angeles and Chicago.
• July 29,1995: Launch Party for the Edgewise OnLine and Telepoetics link with Calgary.
• August 15, 1995: Telepoetics reading live from the Glass Slipper with Toronto.
• September 24, 1995: Chicago and Vancouver journalists read poetry, live from their respective Press Clubs.
• October 22, 1995: Telepoetics from the Grind and Gallery help Toronto celebrate their annual Spoken Word Festival.
• November 19, 1995: Telepoetics from Bowen Island with San Francisco.
• May 17, 1996: CU SeeMe link up with Brisbane, Australia from Edgewise Salon in Vancouver.
• June15-22, 1996: Telepoetics link with Los Angeles and Chicago from the Gastown Theatre.
• August 29, 1996: Telepoetics link with San Francisco, at the Edgewise Salon: Lyle Neff, Gerry Gilbert
• February 16, 1997: Telepoetics Web Cafe’ Link Site: Los Angeles Features: Mercedes, Baines, David Campbell, Kedrick James, Evelyn Lau.
• March 16, 1997: Telepoetics The Web Cafe’, Link Site: Calgary. Features: Sheri-D Wilson, Gregory Scofield, Cass King, Rick Keating
• April 20, 1997: Telepoetics Web Cafe’ Netcast: Over World Wide Web via The Web Cafe’. Features: Larissa Lai, Roger Blenman, J McLaughlin, Hilary Peach, Adeena Karasick, Mohammed Ahmed.
• May 24, 1997: Telepoetics The Western Front, Electronic Cabaret, (Part of the Body Electric Electronic Arts Festival at The Western Front Link Site: Chicago. Features: James P McAuliffe, Andrea Thompson.
• May 11-25, 1997: Telepoetics at The Web Cafe’. Link Site: Chicago
• July 29, 1997: Telepoetics @ The Web Cafe’ Link Site: Auburn, Washington. Features: Kate Braid, Wayde Compton, Kimberly Klaas, Jamie Reid, Justin McGrail.
• October 17, 1997: Edgewise Poetics Virgin Megastore Unplugged. (Part of Bravo Vancouver! The Vancouver Cultural Alliance’s celebration of the arts. Features: SR Duncan, James P. McAuliffe, MC Exu, J McLaughlin, Rob McGreggor, Cassandra Onyejikwe.
• October 26, 1997: Telepoetics @ The Web Cafe’, (Part of The Vancouver International Writer’s Festival’s 10th Anniversary) Link Site: Chicago. Features: bill bissett, Sheri-D Wilson, Jill Battson, Kazuko Shiraishi, Adeena Karasick.
• December 15, 1997: Telepoetics: She Words The Vancouver Press Club Link Site: San Francisco, Features: Abby Wenner, Terrie Hamazaki, Jen Lam, Hilary Peach, Christine Taylor.
• July 13, 1998: E-zine launch Vancouver Press Club, Features: Bud Osborne, Miranda Pearson, Jamie Reid, Phinder Dulai, Loranne Brown.
• January 30, 1999: First Nations Telepoetics from the Liliget Feasthouse. Link Site: Alert Bay. Features: Mahara Allbrett, Marilyn Dumont, Marie Annharte Baker, David Campbell.
• February 11, 1999: Love and Lust Telepoetics Style. Link site: Chicago. Features: Leanne Averbach, Billeh Nickerson, Mahara Allbrett.
• May 17, 18, 22, 29, 1999: Telepoetics from Video In. Link site: Chicago Features: Ana Bella,
Host Anna Wagner, Poet, Justin McMillan, Vanessa Engle. Tech: Vanessa Larouchelle, Dickson Chow.
• September 6, 1999: Labor Day Picnic & Lone Star Linkup. Link site: San Antonio, Texas. Live from Spanish Banks in Vancouver featuring Carmen Rodriquez, Susan Mullen and Verbomotorhead.
• October 2, 1999: EEC Web Site and Virtual Workshop Launch featuring readings by the Seven Sisters Writing Collective and our revamped site/zine.
• November 7, 1999: The Vancouver Videopoem Festival featuring works by Adeena Karasick, Tom Konyves, Zaffi Gousopolous, Jason da Silva, Jannie Edwards, Bob Sherrin, Jill Battson, Alyson Vishnovska and Annabelle Chvostek, Bud Osborn, bill bisset, Jason LeHeup, Kurt Heintz, Patricia Smith and others.
• January 19, 2000: Bravo Arts Channel and Book Television Linkup with e-poets.net Director Kurt Heintz from Atlanta, Georgia, and EEC Executive Director, Heather Haley.
• May 7, 2000: Telepoetics with Chicago Authors, hosted by Vanessa Larouchelle. Participants included Glen Sutherland, Mohammad_reza Mohseni, Katrina Lim, Gabrielle Martin, and Hayley Crittenden.
• Saturday, May 27, 2000: “TWO MOMENTS” Interactive Event as part of Asian Heritage Month: featuring Kyle Hawke, Jen Lam, and Henry Mah in Vancouver and Tetsuro Shigematsu in Montreal.

•Vancouver Videopoem Festival 1999-Video In
•VVF 2000 Heather Haley and Raquel Alvaro-Pacific Cinematheque
• VVF 2001 Raquel Alvaro
• VVF2002 Warren Dean Fulton