Thoroughly foul mood though I may be basking a little in a rare spot of solitude. Josef took Junior to Whistler for golfing at one of his favourite courses, Nicklaus North. I could celebrate the end of the heat wave but still I stew, grapple with recent horrifying news of the murder of friends’ 17-year old daughter. I’m reeling, had to have a drink, call a girlfriend. Why! The story has become politicized. A recently paroled drug addict tried to rob her as she was running an errand for her mother. He became enraged when she couldn’t get money out of the bank machine with her credit card and beat her death. They found her body in her car the next morning. I won’t name names, as I haven’t been able to speak with her poor parents. Despite my best efforts, I haven’t been able to compose a message. I have no idea what to say, or how to say it. Certainly, an email is not going to cut it. I will have to find a way to send a letter and I don’t have their snail mail address.
Her father, my friend G, very kindly got in touch with me after hearing about Peter last year, came to the hotel on my last LA sojourn. It was lovely to see him and we had a good time reminiscing about the days when we all worked together. I don’t think there is an answer to why, at least not one that offers any comfort. The cruelty of fate. In the wrong place at the wrong time. I find I am feeling as much anger as sorrow. Why does this shit have to happen at all? Why can’t we figure this stuff out? All our godammned so called social problems. Prohibition didn’t work, why do we think criminalizing drug addiction will? These desperate motherfuckers go around wreaking mayhem in order to get their next fix. Why not just give it to them? Not necessarily out of pity—though a little compassion goes a long way—but practicality? All we do is create a black market, and crime. Heaps of heartbreaking, destructive crime. Man, there has to be a better way. Why do the godammn bible thumpers rule the world? Has organized religion solved any problems? It’s certainly created enough conflict. It’s their Puritanism and powerful lobby that prohibits a rational approach, a sensible solution.
What can I possibly do? I can’t even think of a way to help or imagine how anyone can live through this.
Love life. Before it’s too late, like it got to be for that wretch in Pennsylvania that took out a room full of women because he couldn’t figure out how to have one, or a love life.
Love your loved ones. Life. All precious.