{"id":7056,"date":"2020-12-31T18:18:51","date_gmt":"2020-12-31T18:18:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/?p=7056"},"modified":"2021-01-01T02:18:05","modified_gmt":"2021-01-01T02:18:05","slug":"canine-whimsy-for-new-years-eve","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/?p=7056","title":{"rendered":"Canine Whimsy for New Year’s Eve!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

A subdued one, no doubt and man’s best friend will likely be basking in the absence of explosions and mayhem.<\/p>\n

OBEDIENCE CLASS<\/p>\n

Puppies!
\nYou won\u2019t be pups for long so listen up.
\nYou must learn to relate to humans,
\nA difficult lot; capricious,<\/p>\n

Largely ignorant of our canine ways.
\nYou will be required to muster
\nEvery ounce of forbearance within you
\nNot to snap, bite back.<\/p>\n

Sadly our wild ways have been lost
\nOver millennia and in 2020,
\nMutt or purebred, we are all lap dogs,
\nRegardless of spirit or temperament.<\/p>\n

We are domesticated<\/em>.
\nUgly word but our true nature
\nEnsures that you
\nWill always be untouchable<\/p>\n

Even while indulging
\nTheir desperate need for cuddles.
\nWe are beyond their reach, torment.
\nPups, you must find a balance<\/p>\n

Between shy and biddable,
\nCharming and entertaining,
\nAll before they grow
\nWeary of your antics;<\/p>\n

Whining, chewing slippers,
\nPooping or peeing inside.
\nOne word; don\u2019t!
\nLikely the most important lesson.<\/p>\n

And hopefully your owner<\/em>
\nCan figure out housetraining,
\nIsn\u2019t too lazy
\nTo take you outside when necessary.<\/p>\n

Fortunately Doghood
\nIs nothing like the human condition.
\nEven on a leash, strolling in the mizzle,
\nWe are beyond human foibles and misery.<\/p>\n

Remember, you are a good boy!<\/em>
\nBest of luck and be careful out there.
\nMay your water dish always be full
\nAnd your future free of swats and prong collars.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A subdued one, no doubt and man’s best friend will likely be basking in the absence of explosions and mayhem. OBEDIENCE CLASS Puppies! You won\u2019t be pups for long so listen up. You must learn to relate to humans, A difficult lot; capricious, Largely ignorant of our canine ways. You will be required to muster […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7056"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7056"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7056\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7068,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7056\/revisions\/7068"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7056"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7056"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7056"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}