{"id":346,"date":"2010-05-26T10:52:16","date_gmt":"2010-05-26T18:52:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/onelife\/?p=346"},"modified":"2010-05-26T10:52:16","modified_gmt":"2010-05-26T18:52:16","slug":"bear-deer-cougar-weasels-and-snaking-past-catastrophe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/?p=346","title":{"rendered":"Tracking bear, deer, cougar, weasels; snaking past catastrophe"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Don’t tread on me! In a funk, discombobulated, plagued with a nasty headache and nightmares as I scramble to meet two hard deadlines, recovering from a low blow by our (former) collaborator who \u201cterminated\u201d our video projects. Terminal City? He might very well have succeeded but happily, I’m working with the inimitable Chris Coon<\/a>, my Bent Tail-punk rock cohort. (Impatient Youth, The Sleepers, The Woundz, Clocks of Paradise, No Alternative.) It\u2019s a relief as well, to drive 15 minutes to a studio rather than 5 hours to record who-knows-where, or how, which saves heaps of money too; no more travel expenses<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Do we engineer the crises in our lives? In search of authentic experience, to provide creative stimulation? Certainly, it\u2019s something artists, writers do. Is Van Gogh<\/em> not equated with tortured<\/em>? August Strindberg is another example: \u201cOf humble origin and melancholy disposition, Strindberg was consumed by an insatiable desire for knowledge and a need for authentic existence.”-New Foundations. “Strindberg created experiences and pressured situations in order to write about them; he inflicted pain on himself to gain extra material and he became suicidal when fiction and reality were interpenetrating so deeply that he was scared of finding which was which.\u201d-Ronald Hayman. I know the difference and though I’m no longer no one’s victim, by associating with artists in various stages of evolution, conflict is inevitable.<\/p>\n

Lately, a veritable zoo of of animals stampedes my dreams and<\/em> reality. Fortunately, I am able to distinguish between the two! Bear, deer, serpents. Someone was holding the head of a . . . rodent-a weasel perhaps-in their hand; a bloody mess, the mouth silently, eerily opening and shutting, pointy teeth gnashing. I was horrified, turned away and when I looked back, it was dead, which was equally distressing.<\/p>\n

Bear on Bowen Island! The last two that swam over from the Sunshine Coast or the North Shore were killed as they quickly became nuisance bears.<\/em> No place to roam around here. Too bad the poor thing can\u2019t be socialized<\/em>, taught to stay out of chicken coops and human garbage. That\u2019s like wishing deer would look both ways before crossing the road.<\/p>\n

I saw a garter snake in the woods yesterday, my terriers oblivious, its camouflage so effective, movements indistinguishable from the forest floor’s twigs and debris. No scent apparently and certainly, no legs. A friend with a snake phobia-ophidiophobia<\/em>-refuses to even utter the word, referring to them as \u201cthose-creatures-without legs.\u201d Then last night I read the Plath poem, Totem<\/em>, wherein \u201cThe engine is killing the track, the track is silver, \/ It stretches into the distance. It will be eaten nevertheless.\u201d<\/p>\n

I will move forward irresolutely as a locomotive. There is no time for paralysis as I race to keep my tail out of death’s incisors. I will<\/em> meet deadlines. I will write, no matter how small and pathetic I may feel.<\/p>\n

I am re-posting this poem from Three Blocks West of Wonderland<\/em> because of its reference to animals, wild and domesticated, real and imagined.<\/p>\n

YEAR OF THE MONKEY<\/strong><\/p>\n

Full house. Madhouse. Ill-fated deejay,
\njester fixed to his back, grinding out tunes
\nin celebration of our new digs, life,
\nin the forest, despite the clear-cutting
\na hundred years ago. There is talk<\/p>\n

of the I-Ching. This will be
\nan extremely progressive time predicts
\na guest with faith enough to practice.
\nMonkeys are shrewd. Agile.
\nYou will find great success in 2004.<\/p>\n

Happy New Year! A toast. To the pileated
\nwoodpeckers, heard more than seen. Cheers!
\nTo the deer phantoms, droppings molding
\nin the front meadow. Where do they go
\nin the winter? Why don\u2019t I know these things?<\/p>\n

We make clumsy attempts at lighting a fire,
\nheating the house, woodstove couched
\nand cold-shouldered as a guerilla soldier
\nbrooding over such hatchet-challenged wimpiness.
\nWe brave the Jacuzzi though. January. Naked ape it<\/p>\n

on the deck, body sculpting with our bare hands,
\npale-faced moon playing peek-a-boo
\nwith the ridgeline, a breeze stroking our backsides.
\nAn owl hoots, hunting through lushness.
\nRed-eyed towhees flit through a labyrinth<\/p>\n

of sword fern, mist the only smoke around here.
\nDesires in the mirror,
\nsmudges of dread
\nsurfacing on its beveled edges
\nwhenever we\u2019re not looking.<\/p>\n

Twin cedar sentinels stand guard
\nagainst the cougar I saw mounting our pup.
\nWhen it began stalking the neighbour\u2019s pony
\nI knew I would need a rifle.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m evolving. From a dinky urbanite on all fours,
\nto a big, eagle-eyed, straight-shooting, cause-
\ncommitted, river-of-life channeling, chainsaw-
\nhung, 4 by 4 pickup piloting Homo Erectus islander<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Don’t tread on me! In a funk, discombobulated, plagued with a nasty headache and nightmares as I scramble to meet two hard deadlines, recovering from a low blow by our (former) collaborator who \u201cterminated\u201d our video projects. Terminal City? He might very well have succeeded but happily, I’m working with the inimitable Chris Coon, my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[78,149,152,324],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=346"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=346"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=346"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=346"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}