{"id":2523,"date":"2013-04-08T12:14:30","date_gmt":"2013-04-08T20:14:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/onelife\/?p=2523"},"modified":"2013-04-08T12:14:30","modified_gmt":"2013-04-08T20:14:30","slug":"news-ive-signed-with-an-agency-and-a-novel-excerpt-the-virgin-marries-do-new-york-or-rather-new-york-does-the-virgin-marries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/?p=2523","title":{"rendered":"NEWS! I’ve signed with an agency! And here’s a novel excerpt; The Virgin Marries Do New York, or rather, New York Does the Virgin Marries"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I’ve just signed with an agent, Drea Cohane of The Rights Factory<\/a> in Toronto. I’m pretty excited and boosted; such a boost to have a professional in your corner. Drea is smart, enthusiastic and encouraging. I will have more news in the near future. In the meantime, here’s an excerpt from the forthcoming Town Slut’s Daughter<\/em>.<\/p>\n

New York, New York, a town so nice, they named it twice. Nice. Yeah, right. And the city that never sleeps never sleeps because it\u2019s rank and sweltering hot, baked sidewalks oozing blood, urine, spittle. Neither did things cool after sundown. Still, Fiona loved the city\u2019s fascinating, ruthless nightlife and omnipresent skyscrapers.
\nThe band had scored a sublet on the Upper West Side, not far from the Dakota and the Museum of Natural History, New York City a peeping tom\u2019s paradise. The Virgins watched yuppie couples cook, cleaning crews dust and a working girl roosted on her toilet, a fine line between uninhibited and exhibitionist thought Fiona.
\nThe plan was to sojourn in NYC for a month, play shows, make contacts, seek management and promote the EP. Everybody else liked the record. It got them gigs, which got them press, which got them a European tour, airplay on a string of college radio stations and a big time booking agent, Brian Kezdy. Most East Coast press coverage was favourable, though Fiona wondered why rock journalists could never come up with one original question.<\/p>\n

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FROM CANADA\u2014PURE ROCK \u2018N ROLL\u2014THE VIRGIN MARRIES<\/p>\n

I must admit I\u2019m a sucker for girls with guitars. At times this well-built punk thrash outfit from Vancouver, Canada, sounds like Bessie the Brontosaurus pounding the city\u2019s pavement. You have to give them credit for being tough and loose, fast and funny, all in a femaleist way, as they steadfastly condemn tanning beds, silicone implants and Citibank. The Virgin Marries exhibit the introspection of a Steppenwolf in All I Have Is Me <\/em>while Woman Driver<\/em> reveals insights into the female psyche: A mother, a bride or a daughter \/ Now which one will I be\/ Forever and ever is a long time\/ To turn my back on me\/ My parents ornament the hood\/ My husband\u2019s in the rear view mirror\/ My children ride up on the roof\/ I think I am behind the wheel. This is a seditious band and these provocative young women provide fine, if not frightening, role models.<\/em><\/p>\n

New York City is not a good place for anyone with a jones for heroin. Dolores swore she was trying to corral her habit, but Jackie often found her in the bathroom, head in bowl or spike in arm. Rita kept an eagle eye on the band\u2019s equipment.
\n\u201cThat\u2019s the next step with junkies. They start stealing your shit and pawning it.\u201d
\n\u201cAw man,\u201d said Dennis, \u201cdon\u2019t call her a junkie.\u201d
\nThey wanted to put Dolores into rehab but Kezdy had them booked to play the UK and Europe a month down the road.Despite a loud Virgin Marries buzz, a 150 bucks was the most money they\u2019d ever earned. Friends and hangers-on volunteered to manage the band but Rita insisted on holding out for someone with clout. They did have a certain breed of chippy coming out for all their shows, new friend Poppy the ultimate fan. Poppy was an exotic dancer, a euphemism for stripper<\/em>, Fiona learned.<\/p>\n

\u201cPoppy is sexually strident, cheerfully malevolent and a larcenist,\u201d observed Rita. \u201cCheck her bag.\u201d<\/p>\n

A huge Plasmatics fan, Poppy had decided the Virgin Marries were her new favorite band. \u201cI\u2019d walk through Bed Stuy to see you girls.\u201d
\nShe often got off stage at the Galaxy Club in Times Square, covering her tits and track marks with feather boas to take a cab to Max\u2019s, because \u201cCB\u2019s is full of bridge and tunnel people now.\u201d Poppy spent all her tip money on drinks and drugs, indulging Dolores far too much. She introduced the Virgins to Dee Dee Ramone, Mink DeVille, Johnny Thunders and Gordon Stevenson, bass player for Lydia Lunch\u2019s band, Teenage Jesus and the Jerks. They wondered why Johnny Thunders knew everybody. Why soon became obvious. Thunders was a desperate opportunist hustling anyone who showed even the remotest interest in him. Poppy had asked Fiona to come by her room at the Chelsea to pick her up for lunch. Fiona dutifully arrived on time and walked in on her giving Thunders a blowjob.
\n\u201cOops, sorry!\u201d she sputtered.
\nThe \u201cliving tragedy\u201d looked up. Sort of. Poppy lifted her head of kewpie doll curls, Thunders\u2019 dick at half-mast. \u201cI\u2019ll be right with you, sweetie.\u201d
\nYeah, right. Too bad she\u2019s not getting paid by the hour.
\nIt seemed the entire Isle of Manhattan fancied the Virgin Marries, including John Belushi, often showing up at their shows, entourage in tow. Club and record storeowners were bombarded with requests for the Virgin Marries. Major label deal rumors flew.
\n\u201cOh man! We\u2019ve gotta get signed to Virgin Records.\u201d<\/p>\n

Revelling in their run of successful New York City gigs, Fiona sat sipping coffee, reading a Sunday Times article about John Steinbeck\u2019s friend marine biologist Ed Ricketts, not only the inspiration for Cannery Row character Doc, but Steinbeck\u2019s muse as well. The phone rang.
\n\u201cFiona, get over here!\u201d yelled Poppy. \u201c415 W. 57th Ave. Quick! Jackie OD\u2019d.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat!\u201d
\n\u201cJackie\u2019s dead!\u201d
\nA lump with legs skittering across her innards, Fiona dropped the phone, looked at Rita and Dennis eating their breakfast, and repeated, \u201cJackie\u2019s dead.\u201d
\nThey sat a moment staring at each other across congealing eggs until Rita bolted, toppling her chair, Fiona and Dennis following her out the door and down the stairs. They hailed a cab, slamming into each other trying to enter. Fiona shouted the address, stared out the window. Jackie\u2019s the tough one. Jackie\u2019s the smart one! Yelling at the driver, they battled rapids of traffic all the way, jumped out, frantic, but soon located the building. Poppy buzzed them into a trendy apartment gleaming with glass and stainless steel. She led them into the bathroom and crossed herself.
\nRita gasped, \u201cOh my God!\u201d
\nJackie floating in the tub, translucent, stiff. Already. Head swimming, Fiona slapped her hand over her mouth. Dennis fell to his knees, weeping. A clock ticked loudly. He lifted Jackie\u2019s long, slender fingers from the water, crushing them to his cheek, sapphire ring raising a red welt in his flaxen whiskers. Dennis looked up at Fiona, anguish in his face triggering a pang in her gut. She glanced away, tub\u2019s claw feet clutching swollen, turquoise marbles, minute bubbles in the glass. Fiona knelt, leaned into Dennis, fiercely pressing her brow to his, clutching the hair at the nape of his neck.
\n\u201cHow could this happen?\u201d Dennis rose with his voice. \u201cGoddammit! What happened?\u201d
\nPillow-clutching-Dolores huddled on the couch, moaning, face hidden behind her hands. You stupid bitch. Dennis went over and put his arm around her, cradling her head on his shoulder. She wailed and heaved with a series of strident sobs, Fiona barely reigning in the urge to slap her.
\n\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you call an ambulance?\u201d
\n\u201cBecause you were wasted as usual!\u201d shouted Rita.
\n\u201cCouldn\u2019t you hear her? Couldn\u2019t you hear her dying, for Chrissakes?\u201d
\nDolores buried her face. \u201cNooooooo! Jaaaaa………..ckie!\u201d
\nThe twins had attended a party with Poppy, Dennis and Fiona off to see Fast Times At Ridgemont High, adjourning to the Golden Harp for a Guinness. Rita took a bath, went to bed early as Jackie and Dolores drank crazy sake, served with ice in little wooden boxes. Jackie took Quaaludes. Several hours later, she turned blue, passed out and nearly stopped breathing. Some jerk put her in a cold shower, poured coffee down her. The party animals got scared and buggered off, leaving Jackie unconscious, choking in the bathroom, eventually suffocating on her vomit, Dolores and Poppy nodding out in the next room.
\n\u201cChrist! All you had to do was dial 9-1-1. They could have pumped her stomach!\u201d
\n\u201cGet her out of here.\u201d Poppy\u2019s composure floored Fiona and Dennis, infuriated Rita.
\nThey refused to leave, a nasty argument ensuing. Rita called the police, Poppy scuttling off. Rita identified the body. The body. Jackie\u2019s body. Jackie.<\/p>\n

PROVOCATIVE VIRGIN ODs New Musical Express, the Vancouver Sun, Georgia Straight and the LA Weekly called. Then Kezdy.
\n\u201cYou could capitalize on this you know. Graduate from notorious to nefarious, be the ultimate bad girls.\u201d He offered to be their manager.
\n\u201cAsshole!\u201d Rita slammed down the phone.
\nFiona sat on a bench in Central Park and bawled, staring down anyone who dared look at her twice.
\nThe girls were questioned by the NYPD, required at the inquest. After nearly two weeks of red tape, Jackie\u2019s body was sent home, Rita, Dennis and Dolores flying back to attend the funeral. Fiona couldn\u2019t bear the thought of returning, tail between her legs. Easier to face the press and police. There was talk of the Virgin Marries regrouping. In the meantime, Fiona would have to find a job and a place to stay. Dennis promised to return. She begged him not to.
\n\u201cI just want to be alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

1<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1 1 I’ve just signed with an agent, Drea Cohane of The Rights Factory in Toronto. I’m pretty excited and boosted; such a boost to have a professional in your corner. Drea is smart, enthusiastic and encouraging. I will have more news in the near future. In the meantime, here’s an excerpt from the forthcoming […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2523"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2523"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2523\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}