{"id":11642,"date":"2023-03-07T03:59:55","date_gmt":"2023-03-07T03:59:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/?p=11642"},"modified":"2023-03-07T20:05:52","modified_gmt":"2023-03-07T20:05:52","slug":"i-am-large-i-contain-multitudes-and-modes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/?p=11642","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;I Am Large, I Contain Multitudes.&#8221; And Modes."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg\"><img data-attachment-id=\"11643\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/?attachment_id=11643\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg?fit=1925%2C2048\" data-orig-size=\"1925,2048\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1677281338&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg?fit=282%2C300\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg?fit=604%2C642\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-11643\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg?resize=282%2C300\" alt=\"\" width=\"282\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg?resize=282%2C300 282w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg?resize=768%2C817 768w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg?resize=963%2C1024 963w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg?w=1925 1925w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg?w=1208 1208w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/335686_10150337728557038_275311565_o.jpeg?w=1812 1812w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 282px) 100vw, 282px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>There was a period in my life when I felt like an utter failure. Like so many others I\u2019d migrated to Los Angeles with every intention of being a star. A rock star. That\u2019s how na\u00efve I was. I tried, got tantalizingly close to the fabled <em>brass ring<\/em> but not close enough. I fell into a downward spiral of drug abuse and toxic marriage. I regretted not possessing the required killer instinct, the inability to hustle. To succeed.<\/p>\n<p>I did emerge, miraculously intact and entered into a new mode; fully engaged as a cultural worker, coordinating events and plugged into a vibrant arts community. I came home. I had a baby. I published my first book. I may not have had much of an interior life but was heartened to learn that my creative life wasn\u2019t over, that I\u2019m capable of reinvention, of putting things-including my struggles and disappointments-into perspective.<\/p>\n<p>These days I\u2019m just as ambitious but armed with the knowledge I possess the ability to adapt, even transcend. And grateful to have lived to tell the tale in one of my books, <a href=\"https:\/\/tinyurl.com\/5n8k3ntd\">The Town Slut&#8217;s Daughter<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There was a period in my life when I felt like an utter failure. Like so many others I\u2019d migrated to Los Angeles with every intention of being a star. A rock star. That\u2019s how na\u00efve I was. I tried, got tantalizingly close to the fabled brass ring but not close enough. I fell into [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11642"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11642"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11642\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11659,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11642\/revisions\/11659"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11642"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11642"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heatherhaley.com\/hh2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11642"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}